Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Technology and the Ego, or Why Everyone Cares About My Opinion

I'm watching the State of the Union (not the whole thing, I still have to maintain my apathetic twenty-something reputation), and there's something distracting me in the lower right-hand corner.  Right above the ABC logo is this cryptic message: #SOTU.  If you had explained to me five years ago that this thing called Twitter would become so popular and powerful that it would be advertised during annual presidential addresses and help topple governments (not here...yet), I would have been pretty surprised.  Then again, five years ago Facebook was more of a curiosity than "The Social Network" and MySpace still had a fighting chance.  Not so today.  It doesn't really bother me, it just struck me as one of those things that we're used to today that might freak someone out from the past, even one that is relatively recent.

As for you, Barack Obama, I think all your talking about ideals is great, but if you really want to get people fired up, you should just come out on stage holding up the head of Osama Bin Laden.  There's your re-election campaign right there.

What have I been up to you say?  Well it's funny you should ask.  A couple of friends of mine, one Andrew McLeod and another Brent Hitman, indulged me in recording a conversation with the idea of turning it into a podcast.  A podcast, for old people or hipsters who find ipods too much of a meta-ironical statement on capitalist consumerism, is essentially talk radio on the internet.  I tend to gravitate toward more humorous interviews and witty banter, but there are all types to be found.  Like all Americans my age with a computer, I know that everyone is clamoring to hear what I have to say about the world around me, and hang on every self-deprecating pearl that falls from my lips and fingers.  As such, you are all invited to hear the three of us banter, as a sort of experiment.

Perhaps you have a long commute and would like something to distract you from the half-asleep homeless man on the train next to you - listen to our podcast!  Maybe you're tired of hearing other people make loud phone calls in the cafeteria on your lunch break - podcast!  Are you secretly in love with McLeod and want to know if he lets slip any secrets on how he keeps his beard so luscious?  No guarantees, but check out the podcast!  Or maybe your life has become confined to the apartment around you, a sorry nest of cats and sweaters to insulate you from the world outside.  People can be so cruel and fickle, but not our podcast!  Listen to it any time you desire human companionship without that bothersome physical presence.

In case you're curious but still unsure, let me give you a list of the topics discussed in Episode 1:

- The often-overlooked field of study on the physical existence of Heaven
- How the Twilight franchise is causing major book retailers to create new categories
- When abortion gets confused with really tasty cheese
- Andrew's first impression of the Knight children
- Debate over the founding members of Leaving Laban
- Being so emo that your songs are confused for those of Vanessa Carlton
- John talks about stealing your friends' cars
- Brent talks about getting paid to drink on the job
- The philosophical boundaries of sex and love
- The male psyche's propensity to objectify others
- Brent is made to feel old
- Andrew has an intellectual dilemma (or, in his words, "daddy issues")
- John sells out, for free
- Brent and Andrew guess what "the Accommodator" is
- John explains his transitioning away from christian music and gets called out on his sparknotes understanding of Homer's Odyssey
- The boys give instructions to their future selves

AND SO MUCH MORE!!!

So do yourself a favor and give it a listen, and when you have, suggest a name for our little diversion.  Full disclosure, there are definately some R-rated sections so if you are a relgious member of my family or just an easily offended person (who inexplicably reads my blog), consider yourself warned.
Download (free of cost restrictions and viruses alike!)
http://www.mediafire.com/?s7mdqic8ci9w8qk

Friday, 16 December 2011

Sketches, Volume II

"Like a cat up a tree"
Half a life, buried in a
Sentence fragment
Who knew she felt so trapped?
I thought her resplendent
The pride of the pride
She felt a lioness
Dethroned, declawed
I was wrong, she was gone
The irony in all this is that
She ended up marrying a firefighter
Can you believe that?
Couldn't have written it any better
It's too bad, really
I used to love cats
Now the neighbors' come over
And I crack sticks and drop stones
Hope I'll scare them away
Hope they'll leave me alone


Assholes got it easy
You don't have a soul to bless
You don't feel a bit of sympathy
When you're pawing at her dress
'cause underneath her panic
She's really saying yes
She's used to it, just leave her with the mess

Assholes got it easy
Don't feel sorry 'til you're caught
And only then because that asshole kid
Told that asshole cop
To your defense comes running
That good ol' winner Pop
Seems a lot like you, you think it could be taught?

Assholes got it easy
They just paint their pickups red
And regale you all with stories
of their favorite backseat head
Man, this shyness gets me nowhere
and in time we'll all be dead
Think I'm gonna be an asshole now instead


This thing the kids call dancing
They can't be serious
They laugh it off,
Say I still don't believe in cell phones
"I may be old," I say
"But I'm not blind"
I start to tell them how I met their grandmother
And they roll their eyes like a sock puppet
In any event, we at least had some
Self-respect
Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire
Fitzgerald and Hemingway
Replaced by celebrities made famous
By their sex tapes, threats of violence,
The audacity of their jewelry
I love them of course, the kids
But sometimes I think back to the war
And those we left on the battlefield
And I wonder:
"Is this what we were fighting for?"


I could never love you
The way I love my sad songs
Until they press you onto vinyl
You're good as gone


I heard him coming down the hall
His footsteps
Violent and inarticulate
He knocked on the door
Like a football player
On prom night
Kissed me, said hello
I waited a moment
Then said
"I'm sorry,
But I didn't order that pizza."


Tiger, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night
Full of sorrow, full of light
They're chasing you, you are in flight
From what do your great paws now flee
The poacher's laugh, the hunter's glee
Or is it someone more like me
Who can't describe what he can see?

Tigress, tigress, stark and calm
Your gentle laugh a soothing balm
With teeth that sing a violent psalm
And warm my blood like beggar's alm
I watched you nurse a tired cub
And wash him in a makeshift tub
But in aggression, there's the rub
You had your claws, man made a club

Tigris, Tigris, muddy shores
Have witnessed many storied wars
And birthed great legends through your pores
The dawn of man, their dying roars
Will you be there when time is still
When God has emptied out the till
We reach the back of our playbill
And wander cold into your spill?

Monday, 21 November 2011

Sketches, Volume I

Come apart, little wonder
Drink in your earthly sentence
Atop your broken filament world
Tapped out like cigarette ash
Into a rippled reflecting pool
Cradling day's last light
Gone are the hours of pitch tar despair
Still you miss its quicksand embrace
A malicious phantom limb
Bleeding through each wound dressing
Each bandage discarded holds something you lost
And are we not all diamonds
Too scared to be crushed?
Left as some hateful child's
Christmas reward?
Hell is not here but its chair is still warm
Its cologne still in the air
And I can't remember anymore
Who's chasing who
I guess I'll take a coffee
Try to wait out the storm


The way you say his name
You'd think he kissed venom
But I think he preferred rye
Not that your anger isn't founded
Sometimes I wonder why you never got
some poison of your own
I hear it just tastes a little chalky
Nothing a tart lemonade couldn't hide
And you'd say, "For all your hard work"
And if he looked at you funny
You'd add, "Straight from Lynchburg!"
And he'd be nothing but a doorstop
in less than ten minutes
Then again, you were never a good liar
And I was never a good accomplice
So here we are again
Room 201, above the swimming pool
And I know the Lord can't be too pleased
(Carved it in stone - twice!)
But I wonder if he can't look
the other way
When I say:
"Hey baby - how about another round?"


The last time I was honest
Sunk my teeth in like a tourniquet
You'd have thought I was announcing
that I was joining the circus
Their eyelids blown back
like a hurricane wind
or a full moon blooming
Nature over nurture
their little cub to save
When persuasion failed they
addressed their prayers to the
pituitary goddess
Hoping it was merely hormonal possession
But if biology is to blame, I fear
there is more of my animal left within
Perhaps I should stop shaving
Let my face grow long
And next time
Go for the jugular


The little muscles in my fingers
Never worry how they'll one day lose their cool
Shake like branches on a California tree
The pupils of my hazel eyes
Never fear the darkness that must one day come
Replaced by pennies on the closed lids
The little drummer in my chest
Doesn't realize that he is slowing down
That time was never something to be kept
But oh my damned mind
That keeps me up, then prods me
in the depths of sleep
Cannot sit still and cries out
like a child
Who senses he is near to something wild
Whose hot breath tastes of
peppered chamomile


I fell in love once
Emphasis on the "fell"
I think I've been in more graceful car wrecks
For future reference:
Chinese takeout can in fact get old
So can a pair of tits
And kleptomania isn't charming
I asked for a cigarette
She asked for the keys to my apartment
"C'est la vie" I thought
Looking back it's easy to see
where I went wrong
But Christ, that girl could dance
And when she'd stand in the doorway
and tell me:
"You're the prettiest piece of shit
I've ever cried in front of,"
Well, all I can say is it really
felt like home

Sunday, 2 October 2011

Past Master

I throw it back in my mind
Like a rubber ball down a narrow hallway
A violent little kiss on each of the
Framed portraits
Oh what a lovely ache
Within that grey city
Waltzing with ghosts, romantic and alone
Taking steps into my dreams
Rubber treat on cobblestone
And it saddens me that no breath
Can be as sharp
No vision so exposed
No sound so resonant
As in the annals of my mind
For when I look around here
A ripe shame indeed to flee the now
I'm a hermit crab
Pining for a soda can
Bored with the perfect shell
But in this thought a beastly trap is hid
For though I seek the rich feeling
Of hot blood
That comes with knowing I will not survive
I have been sleeping with such thoughts beside
Curled beneath my breast
The mind must hold some catalyst
A chemical key to take what was
And make it much more vivid than
What is
For over and again I touch paper to pen
Like match to dry grass
Hoping I may kindle such a flame
The earth, it knows much better
Sure that I will bow before
Her flesh is burned

Friday, 23 September 2011

Life, Death, God, & Doubt

Some of my favorite topics explored in an honest, personal piece.

http://www.jesusneedsnewpr.net/death-without-god-a-non-believers-journey-through-loss-a-guess-post-by-lra/#more-9156

Friday, 2 September 2011

Is the answer in the question?

I've been thinking a little (surprise).  Turns out there's a lot of time for that when you're pushing carts around a parking lot six hours a day.  There's more I can say, but I feel like it will be better said through discussion as opposed to front-loading.  So here's the question:

Is it worth it to be happy if it requires you to compromise your beliefs?

Discuss.

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

Make sure I'm around when you've finally got something to say

It's been a while since I've posted, by my standards at least.  Everyone else seems to have abandoned their blogs completely, and while I don't have a whole lot to report I certainly don't want to admit to myself that I might be just like "everyone else", so I've decided to post a lengthy playlist I made for Jimmy and Lorin's cross-country trek.  I know it's not much, but it'll have to do until either: a) John gets his heart broken again and finds a reservoir of emotional baggage to dump onto poor blogspot, b) John gets wired on caffeine and decides to post something silly that he will be excited about for all of two hours, or 3) John gets bored, tosses a few back and searches desperately for something to post to his ailing blog.  As most of us know, I am an affirmation whore, so if you have any positive comments it will aide the regular updating of this blog, as well as make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  And I do like feeling warm and fuzzy.  The order of the songs is alphabetical by album (approximately), and I will post a download for these tracks upon request.  Be well.


Box Full of Letters - Wilco
Living Well is the Best Revenge - R.E.M.
Foregone Conclusions - Pedro the Lion
Fallen - Sarah McLachlan
The Greatest Story Ever Told - Five Iron Frenzy
My Sweet Lord - George Harrison
Chestnut Street - The River Bends
Mammal - They Might Be Giants
Diggin' My Grave - William Elliott Whitmore
Up In The Morning - The Lost Dogs
Man On The Moon - R.E.M.
Annie's Song - John Denver
Proud Mary - Creedence Clearwater Revival
Martha My Dear - The Beatles
I Don't Want To Spoil The Party - The Beatles
Phony Rappers - A Tribe Called Quest
Bed Intruder Song - Antoine Dodson & The Gregory Brothers
Forget the Flowers - Wilco
Rock This Bitch - Ben Folds
Black Star - Radiohead
There Cannot Be A Close Second - Copeland
Sweetest Thing (Single Mix) - U2
You Can Close Your Eyes - James Taylor
Sail Away - Randy Newman
Cecilia - Simon & Garfunkel
Full Force Gale - Van Morrison
Austere - The Joy Formidable
Black - Okkervil River
Heartbeat - Bleach
Never Gonna Be As Big As Jesus - Audio Adrenaline
The Ruler's Back - Jay-Z
Calgary - Bon Iver
Any Road - George Harrison
I've Been Delivered - The Wallflowers
Invisible City - The Wallflowers
Fly - Nick Drake
July, July! - The Decemberists
Funky Boss - Beastie Boys
Makes Good Sense - The Elms
Fighting in a Sack - The Shins
Sausalito - Conor Oberst
Another First Kiss - They Might Be Giants
Delicate Fade - Common Children
Tension Is A Passing Note - Sixpence None The Richer
Portland - The Replacements
I'm Tore Down - Freddie King
Accused of Love - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
Once Around The Weekend - Paul Westerberg
There Goes - Alan Jackson
Dance Anthems of the 80's - Regina Spektor
In My Ear - Toad The Wet Sprocket
Einstein on the Beach - Counting Crows
Messages - Xavier Rudd
These Days - Jackson Browne
Going Home - Austin Hartley-Leonard
The Apartment Song - Tom Petty
The Denial Twist - The White Stripes
Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic - The Police
Handshake Drugs - Wilco
Take a Walk - Spoon
Dream - Priscilla Ahn
Because I Got High - Afroman
Please Don't Bury Me - John Prine
Down In Flames - Semisonic
Covert War - David Wilcox
Tall, Tall Trees - Alan Jackson
Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival
For the Widows in Paradise, For the Fatherless in Yspilanti - Sufjan Stevens
Hard Times - Gillian Welch
Saving Grace - Tom Petty
Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
Won't Say Anything - Hello Seahorse!
The Red Dress - Motion City Soundtrack
No One Loves Me Like You - Jars of Clay
Ultraviolet Light - Ryan Adams & The Cardinals
Stop Playing With My Heart - Ryan Adams & The Cardinals
Do You Remember - Jack Johnson
I Should Be Allowed To Think - They Might Be Giants
Senorita - Justin Timberlake
You Gotta Feel It - Spoon
The Last DJ - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
Concrete Girl - Switchfoot
Ana Ng - They Might Be Giants
Sweet Jane - The Velvet Underground
All of Me - Watashi Wa
Raising Hell - Lucero
Take It With Me - Tom Waits
Deeper In The Heart - The Lost Dogs
Kodachrome - Paul Simon
I Am Always The One Who Calls - Pedro The Lion
Long Way Home - Tom Waits
Outdoor Elvis - The Swirling Eddies
O, Dana - Okkervil River
Wrapped Around - Brad Paisley
Shadrach - Beastie Boys
Haile Selassie - Bright Eyes
Don't Talk (Put Your Head On My Shoulder) - The Beach Boys
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything - Relient K
Love - John Lennon
Crazy About You - Whiskeytown
Argh...I'm A Pirate - Zolof The Rock & Roll Destroyer
Still Alive - GLaDOS
Dangerous Boys - Paul Westerberg
September Gurls - Big Star
American Pie - Don McLean
Back To California - The Wallflowers
Still - Geto Boys
And Your Bird Can Sing - The Beatles
The Body Of An American - The Pogues
Jerry Was A Race Car Driver - Primus
All Out Of Love - Air Supply
Up Where We Belong - Joe Cocker & Jennifer Warnes
Little Bombs - Dashboard Confessional
Angel Dream (No. 4) - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
What Light - Wilco
Sunflowers - Everclear
Goodnight and Go - Imogen Heap
So Much I - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Savannah Smiles - Okkervil River
Who's In The House - Carman
North - Yellow Second
Gangsta Gangsta - N.W.A.
Avenues - Whiskeytown
Whatever Makes You Happy - Paul Westerberg
Italian Lesson (No. 4) - Space Ghost
Somebody To Love - Jefferson Airplane
She's So High - Tal Bachman
Love, Salvation, The Fear Of Death - Sixpence None The Richer
Tiger - Paula Cole
Sex Farm - Spinal Tap
Girl Don't Tell Me - The Beach Boys
Jolene - Ray LaMontagne
You Make My Dreams - Daryl Hall & John Oates
Alison - Elvis Costello
Kung Fu Fighting - Carl Douglas
Play That Funky Music - Wild Cherry
Rock Me Amadeus - Falco
We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off - Jermaine Stewart
Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus
Today - Joshua Radin
Only Alive - Jars of Clay
Wildflowers - Tom Petty